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Breaking ‘News’

April 1, 2010

This just in…

* Gloria Arroyo has resigned as expressed mea culpa “for my will acts of corruption and violations of the Constitution;

* Arroyo admits she is plotting to be crowned Empress Gloria;

* The Entire Supreme Court issued a signed confession admitting it rubber stamps Malacanang’s illegal orders to distort the provisions of the Constitution;

* The Lakas-Kampi-CMD has expelled Arroyo for acts inimical to party interests and those of the Filipino people;

* The COMELEC disclosed it had allowed the embedding of malicious source codes to facilitate digital Dagdag Bawas under newly-appointed Commissioner for IT Virgilio Garcellano;

* Joc-Bolante has been appointed budget secretary and concurrent BSP governor and Agriculture secretary:

* Chinese Firm ZTE was awarded a 50-year contract to oversea Smart, Globe, and Digitel;

*The DoH announces the legalization of Abortion”;

* The DENR said 100% foreign owners of all industries is now allowed with focus on extraction of all natural resources;

*All media activities are put under the siuervision of a National Censorship Board.

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